Thursday, April 03, 2008

Monogamy - The practice or condition of having a single sexual partner during a period of time

Monogamy has been a topic I’ve wanted to blog about for a while. I never knew how I wanted to approach the subject. It is akin to religion, something you don’t bring up in mixed company because so many are so passionate about their position.


If you don’t know my stance, I am anti-monogamy. Why? I never believed it could work. I always believed that when a relationship is labeled as monogamist, then it becomes stifling. Don’t get me wrong, I have seen some relationships where monogamy worked for them, but I’ve seen many more where non-monogamist relationship worked better.


I’ll be the first to say that I don’t judge and I don’t knock what anyone wants to try. I’ve been known to try something at least twice before I decide it is not for me. I’ve tried monogamy and it’s not for me. I’ve been searching for that someone who is willing to be in an open-ended relationship, but I find men are really big on monogamy.


Which leads into some of my beliefs on this subject. I’ve always felt monogamy was designed to keep women from realizing the beauty and joy that sex with not only your partner, but others as well, can bring. I am all for sexual freedom. As a matter of fact, I am amazed and saddened by the number of people who don’t get their fare share of good sex.


So when I started this blog, I did a google search for monogamy and I found several fascinating sites and articles on the subject. What I’ve decided is to do an individual blog on the articles.
 
I hope you stay tuned for some riveting dialogue...

Posted by BBWC at 20:12:19 | Permanent Link | Comments (10) |
Comments
1 - I am looking forward to reading your views. However, I am hoping that you will draw the distinction between monogamy and commitment. I think that many men feel that a departure from monogamy is a signal that a departure from commitment is soon to follow. While you may be able to keep your "booty call", "friend with benefits", "maintenance man", etc. in his appropriate box, many of your sisters can not.

Just some thoughts...



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Written by: Anonymous at 2008/04/07 - 12:44:58
2 - IT IS HARD TO FIND PEAPLE THAT DONT PRACTICE ZOOLOGY . TRUST ME . THEY ARE TRAINED FROM BIRTH . GOOD LUCK (Comment this)

Written by: BAMBINO at 2008/04/07 - 15:05:28
3 - JMHO - This works as long as a person (male or female) can separate the physical from the emotional. For many people (And I wouldn't dare say just women, but it's been my experience that many ladies feel this way), once people have sex, there's supposed to be an emotional attachment, which brings on commitment, then you know the rest. In summary, women have the same needs as men to "get ur freak on" but probably wouldn't not admit it as quickly as men. So those that do, enjoy but be careful!! (Comment this)

Written by: Anonymous at 2008/04/07 - 21:31:00
4 - The understanding of this exist at the biological level. Meaning, the female tends to be monogamous for many reasons, a big one is because the female must know the father of her kids ! If a woman casually fucks different men at her discretion and becomes pregnant, she must know the father. At the biological/physiological level, NOT the sociological/psychological level, females seek from the male, PROTECTION because when she impregnates, which is the biological reason for sex, she needs for her children to be protected and provided for; therefore, she must know the father and the father MUST bond with the child. You can see this simply by observing other animals. Even though the female lion does all the hunting while the male seems to just sit back on his ass, the male provides the protection. Else, whenever she makes a kill to feed her babies, other males will simply come a take it from her thus causing her babies to die. We are no different.

After a failed previous paternity test, a woman friend of my nephew then claimed him to be the father ! She was ABSOLUTLY sure he would be the one. Her tears flowed like a river I was told upon discovering another fail test that confirmed she simply did not know. Now she must raise her child alone and wait for that day when her daughter asked, "Where is daddy ?!!! " What a selfish decision she made to bring her in this world without a daddy. This is by the way is whatever woman should ask … what type of man am I selecting for my child(ren) . Obviously most do not !!

I think nature designed the female to be this way. She needs protection from the male so she must know the father. Even though you are speaking at the sociological/psychological level, the reason given is why most women will not follow this lead.

Now at the sociological/psychological level, the male is a very territorial creature. Most men will never accept this type of relationship for nothing more than a "fuck thing" He may not admit it but you can bet he is thinking it. I would love to meet women like you. Just "hook up" when its cool. No commitment. I would like to meet about 8 women like that ... while I have a relationship with MY woman, the one that's not having sex with another man and therefore the who will be the mother of my children ! :-)

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Written by: Anonymous at 2008/04/07 - 21:45:38
5 - Young lady you do know how to open a can of worms. I look forward to reading each and every word that you write on this subject. And as you write these words please bear in mind that whatever dribble you espouse on the subject of monogomy... I know your heart, I know you!!! (Comment this)

Written by: Anonymous at 2008/04/08 - 00:03:51
6 - To hell with monagamy. Let's talk mahogany. Fine, soft yet hard, woody friend, lover of my skin. Oh, how I loathe you mahogany...for your tender sweet touch, for your oh so expensive price, and, because you make me want you more than the French when Lindberg landed. Do you need to be washed, rubbed, and waxed, vixen? Ya'll, if you see her, tell her I have a Ryobi powerbelt porous sander. With the honest affection shared by those possessing a profound love for fibrous decorative cellulose based products, or at least, Vietnamese silky plywood, I thank you.
I Am Still Mad (Comment this)

Written by: Anonymous at 2008/04/08 - 00:53:46
7 - The male perception: Lack of monogamy = lack of morals. And NO man will stay with a promiscous woman, for long. If he does ahng around, he won't take her seriously.

How many brothas do you know who are married to strippers (oops..I mean exotic dancers)? (Comment this)

Written by: Anonymous at 2008/04/08 - 14:03:48
8 - The more I read your blog the more pathetic you have become. First you bore us with your Roe vs. Wade pishposh, like having an abortion is something to celebrate. Now the sanctity of love and intimacy is under attack because it means nothing too you.

Hopping from bed to bed makes the argument for monogamy more desirous. So we know at the end of the day, morning if you are sleeping around getting "Good Sex!” you go home alone, sleep alone and live alone, I would say that you do have a pretty monogamous relationship.

It is the hope of many men and women to find that special some to spend the rest of their lives with. The love a good man or women is invaluable. Love and real relationship is not about sex...sex is only one aspect of a relationship. Love is what's left after the body wears out.

By definition, you are only speaking to one aspect of Monogamy as you can see below:

1. The practice or condition of having a single sexual partner during a period of time.

2. The practice or condition of being married to only one person at a time.

3. The practice of marrying only once in a lifetime.

4. Zoology The condition of having only one mate during a breeding season or during the breeding life of a pair.

You sound like a pretty sad person, with very low self-esteem. No self-respecting women would advocate for such nonsense. I feel very sorry for you.
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Written by: Anonymous at 2008/04/12 - 20:43:49
9 - WTF! Do you remeber writing this in your blog last month

Whatever happened to dusting ourselves off and trying again? ... whether male or female, is any different or better than a ...

I think we have gotten so used to quick fixes in our fast food society that we forget anything worth having takes time and effort. Nothing, I repeat nothing, in life is free.

And while I don’t know what the solution is to a broken heart, I do know that it’s not the end of the world and with the right epoxy, it can be fixed.

Sexual promiscuity.. what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” Matthew 16:26 ...

Girl, you need Jesus! (Comment this)

Written by: Anonymous at 2008/04/12 - 20:56:12
10 - I dont often comment on your blogs, but the responses to this one has enticed me.

Monogomy and commitment are both determined by where you are in life. Based on what I know of you as an old boyfriend from the past, I know that you have trouble with monogomy. I dont however think that it is truely your preference. Toi, you have been searching for love for most of your life and maybe you have simply given up on finding it. I can certainly understand that. You seem to go out of your way to be provocative and contraversial. It is my humble opinion that you have chosen this path to avoid dealing with demons from the past. You and I were a less than an ideal couple, but I think that you could make someone a decent significant other if you choose to open up and bring down the walls. You have a close relative who is growing old alone and I know that seeing her this way has affected you greatly. Its not too late for you or her for that matter. Walk towards the light. You will be glad that you did when you wake up next to the love of your live and husband of 5, 10, 20 years and look back on your life today.

Good luck

 (Comment this)

Written by: Anonymous at 2008/04/15 - 12:02:57
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